Molasses in January

I was lying awake that night staring at the phone. I remembered how Natalie gazed me with her smile a day before, the day when I saw her listening to the explanation of a dance championship.
It was coincidence that I met Jim and he took me a seat close to the meeting where she was in.
He showed me his short story that he wrote in Indonesian. He asked me to edit his story. He believed me to do that job because my father is Indonesian, so he thought I would do it.
“Wait!” asked me. I listened to the meeting.
“Ready?” asked Bill, the young choreographer of School Dance Club to Natalie and other guys around her. Natalie clapped her hands enthusiastically. I never saw her very happy like that before and once more I was stunned by her sharp eyes that gazing into mine. I saw her eyes saying, “I will do this. Bless me…”
Jim made me shocked, “Interested with her? The Indonesian girl?”
“Well…”
“Uh… terrible!” Jim commented. “An Indonesian-blooded guy falls in love with a girl who had ever lived in Indonesia? That’s so funny!”
I shook my head, “Listen, whoever she is or whoever I am, I love her… I am not just interested to her. And please, don’t bring the name of Indonesia because I love it. I love Indonesia… I love Natalie, and I am proud of them.”
Then I looked at her again. I felt I was flying when I realized that I love her. Her curly hair made her more sweet
Jim touched my back, ”Yeah, this is my Matt that I’ve ever known. I’m proud to own a friend as kind as you,”
I kept on listening to the meeting again. At the time, Sarah was saying, “Hmm… we have many talented dancer here. I think we have to hold an audition for looking for the very talented woman dancer once more,”
I once again looked at her. Then I saw her with her absent-minded smile, trying to approve the decision, but her face was saying to me, “It must be something…”
On the night, I remembered her sharp eyes gazed into mine, so I called her hoping I
^_*
“So what’s your plan?” I asked to Natalie when we went to cana field. We took a seat and tried to take molasses.
“I don’t know,” replied her, “it’s my dream...”
Just like you, Natalie, you are my dream that feels so true, I thought. I gave my smile to her and we enjoyed our sugar cane.
“Well, whatever it will be, it is my destiny. I just have to experience.” Added her.
I shook my head, “Come on… that’s not Natalie I ever known. Where is my really Natalie?”
“My Natalie?” she repeated my utterance, “What do you mean with your Natalie?”
I became nervous. I drank my sugar cane without looking at her.
Then Natalie laughed, “Oh, come on…! I don’t mind if you said like that!”
“But I don’t like to see you lose your expectation. I don’t like it!” I said just like what my heart felt.
Natalie was stunned. I gazed her eyes, “Natalie… whatever it will be, don’t be scared and don’t be scared. Hold my hand, lift your head because it's gonna be alright.”
“You don’t know what’s happening…”
^_*
I was walking down stair the school to see the audition for woman dancer. I arrived at the dance studio but nobody was there.
I entered the room. I walked close to the make up room. Some people were there: Bill and Sarah!
“She’s the best dancer in our school!”
“I have to do this, no matter she’s the best dancer!”
“Are you loose your mind? What will happen if our school lose this championship?”
“Bill, please remember that I am, Sarah Gerard, the manager of this club. So my decision is final!”
“Tell me why, Sarah!”
I didn’t hear any voices again until a minute.
“You know what? Natalie Flitscher is not needed here. I have to cross her name because of Angela. She had ruined Angela’s relation with Mathew.”
Bullshit! I was furious. Under the guise of an audition, they wanted to cross Natalie’s name. And the conspiracy was because of me!
I was shocked and furious. I showed my self to them. I saw Sarah was nervous.
“I know everything, Sarah! You…” I leveled my finger to her, “How dare you, Sarah! Angela and I had to live separate lives is not your business.”
“But Angela is my friend!”
“And I am not! Uh… I cannot let it be!”
I went out from the studio and met Angela. I hoped she wanted to give me her explanation.
But what did I get from her?
“Don’t you see I still love you?” she touched my cheek.
“I see, but we are living separate lives is not because of Natalie.”
“Natalie? I never have business with her!”
I got angry hearing her utterance, “So why does Sarah have to cross her name on the dance club?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Angela got angry too, and I believed she didn’t pretend.
“You asked Sarah… yes, you asked Sarah to ruin Natalie…”
Angela slapped my face, “Would you shut up! I swear to God I didn’t do it!”
I was confused. I didn’t know what to do.
^_*
I’ve never met Natalie for a month since the audition. I passed this new year without her. I heard she succeeded to join the championship and won it.
I went to the cana field and saw Natalie sitting there.
“Hi, Nat, what’s going on? I heard…”
“What’s going on? I should even ask you!”
It made me looking blank. I didn’t understand what had been going on with her.
“I don’t see what your mean,”
She looked at me, “Someday, I might find me looking in your eyes. But I think the dream cannot come true. Please come back to Angela!”
I was shocked. “That’s impossible. Don’t you see I’m in love with you?”
“But everything is in disorder after we had this relationship.”
“…”
“Sarah is good at pretending, but I am too good to see all those lies,”
“You know…”
“Everything. And did you think I wished I could join the championship? I tried to find you anywhere but I didn’t find you.
I wanted to tell all of my problems to you, but you were not there. Where’s your shoulder to cry on?”
I came close to her, “I am very sorry, I really don’t know what’s happening to you, to us…
Please don’t ask me to come back to Angela. Because I just love you. I do love you, Natalie. My heart beats just for you…”
Natalie turned to other way.
I took a sugar cane and gave it to her, “You see, my heart will beat slower than molasses if I live without you…”
She gazed at me.
Then our eyes collided and suddenly, I found everything I’ve been waiting for long time.

Pati, March 9th 2008
Nabila G. Richter